EDS… KCCO


I was just on The Chive’s charity site filling in an application for help. I got stuck at the part where I had to show proof of my diagnosis and doctor info. Well my diagnosis is from one doctor, I have an orthopedic doctor, pain doctor and general practitioner. I can only use one doctor and some I haven’t seen for years!

I have this thing called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It affects people in many ways, but my hay is pain and hyper-mobility combined with severe fatigue. The connective tissues in my body don’t grow back. Joints dislocate daily and it does not feel good at all. That is me and I am gonna stop harping on it now.

I try not to ask for charity, but things are getting tough. At first I thought a cool therapy pool would work. Then I started thinking. The bane of my life… thought. I thought about how my room is a disaster area. I risk falling and dislocation a random joint every night to pee. Mom is going on 70 and taking care of her 45 years old son. Our house is falling apart because I can no longer work on it.

My father was a Vietnam vet, Purple Heart. We were lifers in the military. I joined up with the USAF, but my then unknown condition led me to an early medical release with a blown knee. These days, everything is blown.

I am in a good place right now, mom got me plane tickets to go visit home, Germany, in April and I couldn’t be happier. Who am I kidding? I spent ages 5-23 over there. I am ecstatic. I just hope my body holds up for this one last journey. I plan on having my first script finished when I return.

Reading all these inspirational letters on The Chive, seeing people set up gofundme.com accounts for people they don’t even know warms my soul. I read about a sick kid, reach for my wallet… only to remember, Government disability only pays me $635 a month.

I don’t want pity. I want a home, a safe hope. One where a 70-year-old doesn’t have to rake leaves. I want the pain to stop, it wont, but one of those hot-tub/swimming pools sounds like heaven. I am not asking for someone to start an indiegogo or gofundme page. I just wanna get out of bed once in a while, talk to mom and not worry about the house falling.

Promises broken to myself.


So last year at this time, I decided to promise myself something. Since New Years Resolutions always go bust, I just made a simple statement about how I was going to do something big the following year (2014).

Well I had all these great writing/photography gigs set up and thought this was my breakthrough year. I had a comic script I was working on, a novel and a host of other projects that would fulfill my definition of big. Well EDS and other mysterious illnesses foiled me along with my ineptitude. .

As my main talent these days is writing, I thought it was gonna be a cakewalk. Well enter unknown, bone eating whatever the fuck. Suddenly my hand, well pinkie but hand sounds better, was having its bones chomped on, and it hurt. I went to my ortho doc and he thought it was some arthritis shit. He goes in, fuses finger joints and tests to see what it was. He couldn’t find out, it was some anomaly. So I am laid up for months with some Wolverine, metal rod stuck in my finger. Typing is hard one handed people.

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Then concert gigs! Yay! I got to see the last Motley Crue tour, go backstage and meet the guys, but no press. The freaking venue didn’t allow it. Fuckers. After bragging that I would have a huge scoop, band after band PR people started… not calling me.

So this past year sucked. I have some personal plans for next  year, but I am at the fuck it stage right now. Money is tight, gotta pay for medical shit and get the hell out of debt. That is why I am selling my most prized possessions, stuff Nikki Sixx and Crue signed. I am even including the signed copy of The Heroin Diaries that has kept me clean all these years. Here is the link to the eBay auction.

As for next year? I have no clue.

50 wonderful followers!


Wow, 50 of you crazy people follow me, that is so insane. Don’t you know I am a crazy man? Well if you didn’t know, then you are not a true follower and you should be ashamed.

You know, if each and every one of you gave me $1000 each, I could start getting my artists paid for my upcoming comic. Is that too large a price to pay for my sporadic ramblings? I come on here once, maybe up to four times a month, and pour the insanity straight from my demented brain to you.

In all seriousness, I know 50 is not a huge number, but you all mean a lot to me. I get pretty good traffic, but you, YOU chose to “Follow”. Welcome to my cult.

Also go check out Mark McKenna and his Kickstarter (I will be doing one soon as I figure out a few more story details) Combat Jacks 2: The Continuing Saga

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I wanna be Halestorm’s tour guide!


ReAmimate 2.0I gather from my last post, you can probably tell I want to go back to Germany, right? I do, I very much do! One thing I would love to do is visit all my old houses, or the spots where they once stood at least. It has been a long time and I know things have changed, they always do.

Well the other day I got an email announcing Halestorm‘s German tour dates ( I don’t know if they are public knowledge yet, so I will stay mum ) and got a great idea. I have tried to get a major interview with Halestorm, well any big name artist really, but mainly Halestorm. So I thought to myself, “Why not pitch the idea to Atlantic records and my contact  the idea of me traveling with them?”! I could be a tour guide, I have lived all over the country. I could be a translator, well not a pro translator as my German has faded in the years. I could also be a journalist, like a reporter embedded with the troops during wars ( This would be much safer ). It would be a win situation for all parties.

I will not accept or ask for a salary, just pay my way. Plane tickets, rooms, maybe a per diem for food? I would sign a waiver absolving them of anything horrible that could happen, and I would have the story of a lifetime. I am clean, quiet when need be, don’t take up much space and eat very little.

If you think that this would be a great idea, please contact Atlantic records, let them know I am a fan, reporter, vet, EDS sufferer and this would make my dreams come true. I would love you all long time and do a little dance maybe? Would love this to really happen.

Thanks,

Deaderpool AKA M.S.H.

What is EDS?


I received a comment on my “Open letter” that asked some questions about my condition. So without Google to help, I am going to answer the questions from my perspective.

1. How does one contract the disease? Well it is genetic thing, a cool ass mutation like an X-man, that will make EDS‘rs the perfect space explorers. So no worries, it isn’t contagious.
2. What is the disease? It is a genetic defect that affects the connective tissues. Now that is not all, there are 3 types of EDS (Erhlers Danlos Syndrome). I have the hyper mobility/ vascular type that is 2 types blended. In my case the disease manifests as severe joint pain and major fatigue.
3. This is actually a summation.
I get very tired easily, mornings are the worst time of day. As far as treatment, well there is no cure. I rely on pain medication and warm soaks in a bath or hot tub. For myself, I have been advised to stay away from any high impact exercise. I try to get to the Y and use the exercises I learned in pool therapy. When I go out, I have a great pair of leg braces that keep me upright and able to go to events I might be covering. I also have a great support system at home, that is the best thing for anyone with EDS.

If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask.

Deadpool