EDS… KCCO


I was just on The Chive’s charity site filling in an application for help. I got stuck at the part where I had to show proof of my diagnosis and doctor info. Well my diagnosis is from one doctor, I have an orthopedic doctor, pain doctor and general practitioner. I can only use one doctor and some I haven’t seen for years!

I have this thing called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It affects people in many ways, but my hay is pain and hyper-mobility combined with severe fatigue. The connective tissues in my body don’t grow back. Joints dislocate daily and it does not feel good at all. That is me and I am gonna stop harping on it now.

I try not to ask for charity, but things are getting tough. At first I thought a cool therapy pool would work. Then I started thinking. The bane of my life… thought. I thought about how my room is a disaster area. I risk falling and dislocation a random joint every night to pee. Mom is going on 70 and taking care of her 45 years old son. Our house is falling apart because I can no longer work on it.

My father was a Vietnam vet, Purple Heart. We were lifers in the military. I joined up with the USAF, but my then unknown condition led me to an early medical release with a blown knee. These days, everything is blown.

I am in a good place right now, mom got me plane tickets to go visit home, Germany, in April and I couldn’t be happier. Who am I kidding? I spent ages 5-23 over there. I am ecstatic. I just hope my body holds up for this one last journey. I plan on having my first script finished when I return.

Reading all these inspirational letters on The Chive, seeing people set up gofundme.com accounts for people they don’t even know warms my soul. I read about a sick kid, reach for my wallet… only to remember, Government disability only pays me $635 a month.

I don’t want pity. I want a home, a safe hope. One where a 70-year-old doesn’t have to rake leaves. I want the pain to stop, it wont, but one of those hot-tub/swimming pools sounds like heaven. I am not asking for someone to start an indiegogo or gofundme page. I just wanna get out of bed once in a while, talk to mom and not worry about the house falling.

Promises broken to myself.


So last year at this time, I decided to promise myself something. Since New Years Resolutions always go bust, I just made a simple statement about how I was going to do something big the following year (2014).

Well I had all these great writing/photography gigs set up and thought this was my breakthrough year. I had a comic script I was working on, a novel and a host of other projects that would fulfill my definition of big. Well EDS and other mysterious illnesses foiled me along with my ineptitude. .

As my main talent these days is writing, I thought it was gonna be a cakewalk. Well enter unknown, bone eating whatever the fuck. Suddenly my hand, well pinkie but hand sounds better, was having its bones chomped on, and it hurt. I went to my ortho doc and he thought it was some arthritis shit. He goes in, fuses finger joints and tests to see what it was. He couldn’t find out, it was some anomaly. So I am laid up for months with some Wolverine, metal rod stuck in my finger. Typing is hard one handed people.

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Then concert gigs! Yay! I got to see the last Motley Crue tour, go backstage and meet the guys, but no press. The freaking venue didn’t allow it. Fuckers. After bragging that I would have a huge scoop, band after band PR people started… not calling me.

So this past year sucked. I have some personal plans for next  year, but I am at the fuck it stage right now. Money is tight, gotta pay for medical shit and get the hell out of debt. That is why I am selling my most prized possessions, stuff Nikki Sixx and Crue signed. I am even including the signed copy of The Heroin Diaries that has kept me clean all these years. Here is the link to the eBay auction.

As for next year? I have no clue.

Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes.


Yeah OK, I know I am messing around with the theme here a lot. Sorry. I see some really cool themes here, but those end up being PREMIUM. Hell, $50-$75 for some colors and different layout? Nope, sorry not gonna do it. I don’t mean to mock the people who made them, I know it is complicated. I tried it and failed immensely.

I am very grateful for the people who have made free themes here on WordPress  you save me all the real work. Now I have changed to someones free theme, thank you person I don’t know, lets see how long THIS one lasts. HAHA!

Just for the hell of it, a photo of my favorite Borg, Jeri Ryan.

7 of 9
Jeri Ryan as 7 of 9