Promises broken to myself.


So last year at this time, I decided to promise myself something. Since New Years Resolutions always go bust, I just made a simple statement about how I was going to do something big the following year (2014).

Well I had all these great writing/photography gigs set up and thought this was my breakthrough year. I had a comic script I was working on, a novel and a host of other projects that would fulfill my definition of big. Well EDS and other mysterious illnesses foiled me along with my ineptitude. .

As my main talent these days is writing, I thought it was gonna be a cakewalk. Well enter unknown, bone eating whatever the fuck. Suddenly my hand, well pinkie but hand sounds better, was having its bones chomped on, and it hurt. I went to my ortho doc and he thought it was some arthritis shit. He goes in, fuses finger joints and tests to see what it was. He couldn’t find out, it was some anomaly. So I am laid up for months with some Wolverine, metal rod stuck in my finger. Typing is hard one handed people.

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Then concert gigs! Yay! I got to see the last Motley Crue tour, go backstage and meet the guys, but no press. The freaking venue didn’t allow it. Fuckers. After bragging that I would have a huge scoop, band after band PR people started… not calling me.

So this past year sucked. I have some personal plans for next  year, but I am at the fuck it stage right now. Money is tight, gotta pay for medical shit and get the hell out of debt. That is why I am selling my most prized possessions, stuff Nikki Sixx and Crue signed. I am even including the signed copy of The Heroin Diaries that has kept me clean all these years. Here is the link to the eBay auction.

As for next year? I have no clue.

My Crüe life.


Motley+Crue+-+Shout+At+The+Devil+-+SHM+CD-433488

I was an American kid, growing up in Germany as a part of an army family. One day I was enjoying my second favorite pastime, skipping school. Skipping as an American kid  in Germany is much different from here in the USA. I never had to worry about truant officers, police and I could go into any pizzeria to get a beer. This was freshmen year, so I was 13 or 14 years old, grabbing a beer and eating pizza. It was Heaven.

 

After a day of drinking and roaming around 800 year old castles, we would always hit the record shop in the main train station. That is where we got our fix of rock. AFN, The Armed Forces Network, was a variety radio station. It was also the only one in English, so we listened for even the tiniest bit of rock. Whenever we heard a band’s name that we liked, it would go on my list. The tiny train station shop didn’t have much, but the ROCK bin was mine, I claimed it every  visit.

Flipping through the albums, looking at the cool artwork and guessing our way through these bands we had never heard of was a gamble. It was always hit or miss. I remember picking up this one album, black with hints of vivid color coming from the inside it’s suspect double album cover. Red letters emblazoned on black, and a barely visible pentagram done with some reflective material. “Mötley Crüe” the bands name, “Shout at the Devil” was the album. I snatched the last copy and took the train home to see what I got.

 

I got home, told mom school was fine (lie) and headed to my room. Holding SATD in my hands, I rip the plastic off, slide out the LP in the liner-notes sleeve. I lift the plastic cover off of my Hi-Fi stereo, put the record on, grab the lyrics and with headphones on (Mom hated loud music), and I heard these words…

 

 

In the beginning

Good always overpowered the evils

Of all man’s sins…

But in time

The nations grew weak

And our cities fell to slums

While evil stood strong…

In the dusts of hell

Lurked the blackest of hates

For he whom they feared

Awaited them…

Now, many many lifetimes later

Lay destroyed, beaten, beaten down

Only the corpses of rebels

Ashes of dreams

And blood-stained streets…….

And it has been written

“Those who have the youth

Have the future”

So come now, children of the beast

Be strong, And Shout at the Devil!

 

My world changed that day. I had the liner notes memorized, band members ranked in order of bad-asses. Hit Parade magazine got shredded every time Mötley Crüewere in it and the pages adorned my wall. A football jock that rode my bus stole me that black shit they put under their eyes and I would alternate between Tommy and Nikki stripes. Eyeliner, ripped jeans and even fishnet stockings from a chick I knew for gloves. Then it happened, Monsters of Rock 1984! I was going to go anyway, but the moment I saw Mötley Crüewere going  there, I was first in line at the local ticket seller.

 

I loved all the bands, but was there for Crüe! It was hard to get much news about them over there, and since the invention of the internet not even a dream yet. So Hit Parade and all the other Teen Mags were my only sources. Whenever I heard they were on tour, I was on the ticket hunt.

 

I remember seeing them three maybe four times, Tommy’s drum kit growing more and more elaborate. One show, I think it was Theater of Pain, I met Tommy without even realizing it. Pumped full of beer and wine hours before the show. I had my girlfriend with me and she had run off to get some more booze I think. The concert hall was not the biggest, but all our area had to offer that was indoors.

 

The adjoining buildings were the business offices or what not for the hall. I was sitting on the steps, away from the crowd chilling out when this van came screeching up. Out jumped this tall, skinny dude with a mess of black hair. The doors locked, and no one was around, so the guy just muttered “Fuck!”.

 

I lit a smoke, and he asked to bum one. I said, “Sure dude, no prob..” and waited in silence like all cool rock dudes did. A few minutes later, the security opens the door for this guy. I was jealous, who was he?

 

At the very moment the doors closed, my girl came back, looked through the glass doors and screamed “THAT WAS TOMMY LEE!”. I palmed my face, thinking how fucking stupid I was. Well I was about to get stupider.

 

I am not a braggart, but I was a bit of a leader with my group of rocker friends. It was getting close to showtime and all of a sudden we heard guitars. Drums. Bass. Vocals. Crüe was doing sound-check! I grabbed my crew and headed for the side of the hall. They had those double doors with the push bar on the inside and security at them all. One guard must have been a fan because he had the door cracked, checking things out.

 

I led my rocking mob in an all out assault and wedged myself in the door before it could close. Hands grabbed, I squirmed then escaped the guards grip. I burst into the empty hall, guards hot on my ass and ran in circles all the while trying to get Crüe’s attention. I don’t know if Crüe even did their own sound-checks, but I swear it was them. They stopped playing and watched me play Keystone Cops with security. I didn’t want to get caught and miss the show, so I booked. I ran through another set of those doors, through the guards and blended in with all my fellow Crüeheads.

 

The show was amazing, we were up front of the general admission crowd, crushed against the bar with my girlfriend. I was in Heaven.

 

That was my life when I lived in Germany. Part of a military family, BRATS as friends. Some I still am in touch with, but most have faded away. One special dude, Butch has passed on. I get sad thinking about him.

 

 

Flash forward to the Mötley Crüe/Poison tour. I begged and pleaded on social media for a chance to see them again. I am now a disabled vet, that means I don’t have any money, and my condition was getting worse. I feared that this would be my last chance to see them. Seth Green heard my cry.

 

After verifying that I’m a disabled veteran, Seth’s people talked to Nikki’s people, and I had VIP access! I got to meet Nikki, he signed his books, my ticket, laminate and everything I had on me. Was front row, in a safe place (disabled remember?) and rocking to my heroes again. Hadn’t felt so good in years. My condition did not exist during the show! I was so inspired.

 

I wanted to be a rock journalist/photographer, and low and behold I did it! I overcame my anxiety problems for short periods, wore my leg braces to shows and got a freelance position on a small print magazine.  My biggest moment was getting to photograph Halestorm and write an article, I got the cover.

 

Things are not getting better though. I now know that this is my last chance to not only see Mötley Crüe, but my last chance to be a journalist/photographer covering them. Nikki Sixx is the reason I am still alive. See, not only did I imitate the style, I followed my path to addiction and back.

 

Before I got to meet Nikki on that tour, my painwas tormenting me more that ever. Iwas so close to using again when I picked up my copy of The Heroin Diaries. I read it all night, remembering the hell addiction was. I didn’t want to go back to hell, I wanted to Shout at the Devil!.


So I met Nikki, got bit by the photography bug and worked as many local shows I could handle. Its stupid, but I had this Cameron Crowe/Almost Famous dream. I want to be the kid in that movie, to be Cameron Crowe. I want to write a story, firsthand, from a fans eyes of the Death of Mötley Crüe. I know I could do it, I need a publication or some other entity to take a chance and believe in me. Hire me to go on tour, write the epitaph of my lifelong heroes.

 

To be continued….

Just what would you do?- Updated my errors.


Just for a minute, I am going to assume that everyone who reads this had a good relationship with their fathers OK?

Kerri Kasem
Kerri Kasem

Everyone of us clashed with our dads at one time or another, it is natural teen angst. My dad was a tough as nails military man, while I was a long-haired, tattooed, wannabe rock star. He must have hated it. Yeah, he would threaten me with a trip to the Army barber now and then, but I gave him good cause. One day he had to take off from work (in the army), drive half an hour to the Nuremberg police station and pick me up. I had been caught with friends skipping school and we were wandering around the Red Light District, just looking. That was the longest drive home ever.

Dad didn’t yell. The whole trip back was silence. I squirmed in my seat, coughed and tried to stop the squirming and be as still as possible. When we got home, he would let me have it. He was never violent, I got the belt maybe twice in my life and those times it was for something worse than looking at hookers. Imagine a 30 year, Vietnam vet. Combat tried and tested yelling at you. Pretty scary. Guess what I did? Fainted. BAM! Flat on my face and slowly woken by our dog licking my face. It wasn’t over though. Because I fainted, the discussion turned to “Are you on drugs?”. I wasn’t, I was scared. Finally he dismissed me to my room. I put on some Motley Crue and tried to relax, cursing my dad for not understanding me.

My dad is gone now, passed years ago but I still miss him every day. I would give anything to have just a few more hours to really talk to him. This is similar to the spot my friend Kerri Kasem is in now, but she has hope. Her dad, the legendary radio and TV host of American Top 40 Casey Kasem, is in poor health. His wife (you may or may not remember her from that horrendous Cheers spin-off The Tortellis) Jean Kasem, has been blocking Casey’s children from seeing him. I really hate to say this, and it pains me to do so, but Casey Kasem is not long for this Earth. A man is dying and is ditz wife bars his kids from  even seeing him without an armed guard present! She has even gone to the lengths as to brag that she was about to star on the next season of Housewives of Beverly Hills! Made a fake Facebook account under Casey Kasem’s name just to trick people into tweeting their support for her in this role. REALITY CHECK! Casey Kasem does not use the computer, he unfortunately can’t. Also, he is a man of such standards he would never peddle trash like that. Never in my life have I ever heard an ill word spoken of him. And because of that formerly blond (yet still a) bimbo, his children don’t get to spent the right kind of time with a father who is near his end.

“Well I heard it was about the kids wanting money.”, wrong! Kerri has money, her sister does as well. Kerri’s brother is the number one radio host in Singapore and has two TV shows! They don’t want money, they just wanna see their dad. Casey raised them right. Last night on KABC talk radio, Kerri recounted her childhood. She didn’t have the regular Hollywood kid upbringing. Casey never gave her a credit card to go buy frivolous things, if she wanted something Casey told her to work for it. Boy has she taken that to heart now.

Kerri’s sister signed an agreement, but Kerri would not. I believe she was right in refusing as no child should have to bargain, beg or sign away a parent. With that, she decided to fight, to go to work. Sure she could have just gone to court and had her own battle, but she knows that there are thousands out there in her exact situation. There are no laws for a judge to rule on for children’s rights when it comes to ailing parents. Kerri and her layer Troy Martin, have partnered with Assemblyman Mike Gatto who is sponsoring the new bill aimed at giving children the right to see their ailing parent. She has started a foundation, Kasem Cares and is taking donations to help pay lobbyists and get this law passed as fast as she can. She is short on time and knows it, but she also wants to hear from you. She wants your story if you have been in this situation or still are. She fights not only to see her dad, but to make sure others don’t have to endure the heartache she has.

I would also ask you to tweet Assemblyman Mike Gatto @mikegatto and thank him, use the hashtag #ThisBillShallPass Go to Kerri Kasem’s Facebook and give her your stories and support. She really reads everything you post there. Donate at KasemCares.org Do something. I would give anything for just one moment with my dad, don’t let her moments be taken by formed, wannabe actress. (I am so pissed at her, sorry)

Above all, keep Casey Kasem in your thoughts, Kerri as well.

“Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”  #ThisBillShallPass

Kasey Kasem and daughter Kerri
Kasey Kasem and daughter Kerri

Kasem Cares Foundation Facebook

Kasem Cares Website

Kerri Kasem Facebook

Tommy Lee says NO to meet and greets.


Rocker Tommy Lee just issued a statement on his Facebook page stating he will no longer take part in band “Meet and Greets”.

For those of you that are asking why I am not doing anymore meet and greets!! It’s got nothing to do with me not wanting to meet the fans, I just don’t agree with doing it under the certain given circumstances.i love u all and I’ll gladly high five y’all if I see u out n about – and u won’t have to pay me for that;) Tommy

Tommy was allegedly involved in an altercation with a photographer on a beach in Florida just before embarking on Motley Crue“s Australian tour. He had also recently stated his displeasure towards paparazzi and others taking photos of him citing a time when a funeral home director asked for a picture as he was picking up his mothers ashes.

Good for Tommy for standing up to corporate greed.

 

I am BAAAACK!


RockingSo I am back over here. My other blog, http://www.tb2942.com is still there, but I am starting to do reviews for a magazine and this is a better place to do that.

I was hired on freelance by Rock ThiZ Magazine and was scheduled to do a concert review/interview with Nikki Sixx or the whole band. Well that got nixed because of Kiss’ clause in the contract that this was a “no comp tour”. When I say Kiss, I mean the money grubbing, so low as to put Kiss’ name on caskets and TOILET PAPER, Gene Simmons.

My friend, who is Motley Crue’s tour manager, tried his hardest to get me in, but didn’t happen.

The silver lining to all of this is I get to meet and photograph one Laura Wilde. She is sexy as hell, comes from Australia, plays kick ass rock AND she actually plays almost every instrument under the sun. She is opening for Ted “crazy as hell” Nugent on the 9Th and I am gonna be there. I have my leg braces all shined up and ready to go.

 So while I am in the writing mood, I am gonna do some maintenance here, write some reviews, rants and opinions of things I have missed during my long absence. 

HANG ON>